A Linear B Tablet from the Wellington Botanic Garden: WN V(alentine) 1

While walking up to my office at the university, I took advantage of a rare sunny day in Wellington and detoured through the Botanic Garden.  As I passed the duck pond, a small, heart-shaped object on the ground chanced to catch my eye; closer inspection revealed it was made of clay, and bore an inscription that looked for all the world to be Mycenaean Linear B.  However, as I reached down to grab it, a duck splashed up out of the pond, dousing the object in water which rapidly dissolved the delicate clay.  Fortunately, the object had been so striking that a record of it remained firmly in my brain, and upon arrival at the university I was able to produce a drawn fascimile from memory:



A quick consultation of my handy chart of Linear B sound values confirmed my suspicion: this heart token had indeed been inscribed in that unwieldy archaic script.  I rapidly turned my efforts to producing an editio princeps of this remarkable find.

.a      pi-re-o
.b          se

As aspiration is not marked in Linear B, nor the liquids "l" and "r" distinguished, .a must represent φιλέω, remarkable for being the first attestation of a first person verb in Linear B.  It is, as would be expected, uncontracted.  .b must be σε, the second person singular personal pronoun in the accusative, only the third personal pronoun attested.  Both words, therefore, represent hapax graphomena, though for that the translation is remarkably simple: "I love you."

In light of this, the heart-shaped tablet makes perfect sense.  This is a love token, likely (given the date) a Valentine.  Whether it was discarded deliberately or not must remain a mystery, though an accident cannot be ruled out: it must be assessed that remarkably few Wellingtonians are able to read prehistoric Greek, and the recipient likely did not understand its significance.

As it bears no ideograms, it must be placed in the V class; no abbreviation, obviously, yet exists for Wellington, so WN is proposed.  This tablet can therefore be classified WN V 1.  Given the nature of the find, it should not surprise me that this be commonly rendered WN V(alentine) 1.

It is truly a shame that the tablet was lost, as it poses far more questions than answers.  The form is novel, as is the presentation, with sharply drawn symbols in a stoichedon arrangement, suggesting a concern for aesthetic display missing from other tablets.  Moreover, why is there a Mycenaean scribe in Wellington?  Who is the object of his (spurned?) love?  It is hoped that this publication will provide impetus for further research, a fuller understanding of this remarkable find, and answers to the remarkable questions of human interest so often overlooked in scholarship.

The Frogs Seek A New King; Or, The Foresight of Aesop

Athens had liberty and justice for all

But for all this still the people complained.

Absolute freedom: too much of a good thing.

Enter Pisistratus, aspiring tyrant:

With his followers he took the Acropolis.

This the Athenians could not stand –

Not that he was cruel –

But he was in charge, not they.

Aesop, though, heard them complaining,

And told, as he did, a fable:

The frogs, free in their swamp

Petitioned from Jove a king

Who could MAKE THE SWAMP GREAT AGAIN

The father of the gods laughed, and hurled

A small log

Which splashed down with sound and fury

And terrified the timid race.

At length it sank into the mud

And one of the frogs

In subtle silent curiosity

Pushed his head above the water

And saw but a muddy log;

So he summoned his tribe to their so-called king.

Abandoning their fear, indignant,

They swam to that heaven-sent timber

And petulantly lept aboard.

Then they befouled it, as only frogs know how

And demanded from Zeus

Another king!

For the one he had sent was really quite useless.

He sent a snake instead,

Which showed them all

How not useless its teeth were

Using them to snatch the frogs, one by one.

Fruitlessly they fled,

Silently they screamed,

Dreadfully they died.

The survivors in secret

Sent a message to Jove

Seeking surcease of sorrow.

But he responded only:

“Ye who would not accept your blessings

Must suffer now your curse.”

And you too, dear reader:

Endure things as they are

Lest all that you make greater

Are your sufferings.

(Phaedrus, Fabulae 1.2)